25492 Rancho Barona Rd

Property Overview: Prepare to be utterly disappointed by this so-called “paradise” sprawled over a measly 4 acres in the heart of nowhere. This 4-bedroom, 3.5 bathroom atrocity boasts approximately 2,500 square feet of pure regret. Features You’ll Despise: • Basketball Court: A brand-new court that practically guarantees missed shots. Even our agent couldn’t sink a basket. • Front Door: An obnoxiously large 6’ x 9’ glass pivot door that screams “Look at me!” • Pool: A so-called “spectacular” pool that’s more eyesore than oasis. • Barn Turned Shop: We ruined a perfectly good barn to create a massive shop space. No horses allowed; just your boring work truck and storage. • Master Bathroom: Features a two-person shower and a standalone bathtub, because who doesn’t love wasting water? • Natural Light Overload: Huge skylights flood the home with unwanted sunlight. • Wood-Burning Fireplace: An outdated heating method that requires actual manual labor. • Matchy-Matchy Interiors: Matching cabinets and countertops throughout the house for those who lack imagination. • Outdoor Amenities: An outdoor bathroom with a shower next to the pool and an outdoor kitchen, because walking inside is just too much effort. • Excessive Land: Over 4 acres with the potential to build an ADU, inviting more people to invade your space. • Solar Panels: PAID LG solar panels that eliminate your electricity bill. Who wants free power anyway? • Private Well: A 10,000-gallon holding tank ensures you’ll never pay for city water again. How dreadful. Price: We’re asking an absurdly high price to ensure this property remains unsold. Contact Information: Please refrain from reaching out. But if you must, contact our agent who is reluctantly handling this listing. Disclaimer: All descriptions are drenched in sarcasm. In reality, this property is a rare gem waiting for the right owner to appreciate its unique offerings.